I love my morning paper. The fresh smell of newsprint, a crisp and windy Pune morning and my delicious morning tea while reading the latest in Hollywood gossip never fails to lift my spirits. Although I have to say that some mornings my spirits are already quite lifted from the excesses of the previous night but never mind.
This morning however when I opened the papers I chanced upon an article that drew and held my attention even before I got to reading the gossip column. The article said that tea with milk was bad for me! Surely the writer was joking or croaking and this was his way of paying back humanity for some imagined slight.
Not so. The writer was serious and went on to give some chemical reaction explanation that I must say sounded very convincing if you are the jargon impressed kind of person. Not me. I was mad. Hey! Gyan gurus! Leave us all alone. For centuries Indians have been drinking tea with milk - none of that green shit and have been healthy and happy. Now you come along and publish some paper after doing some cockamamie research funded by someone who has mucho moolah and you unleash this on the general public just as we are sitting down to enjoy our morning chai? Soon you will be telling us to leave the tea out and just drink the warm water!
The thing with this kind of unsolicited advice purportedly for the good of mankind is that there is no consistency. One day eat bread - the next day give it up!! Its bad carbs. One day eggs are the best - the next day you will die of cholesterol if you eat eggs. Today stop eating fish they are contaminated - the next day eat fish it has omega 3 oils. Today eat lean beef - its the best kind of meat. Tomorrow stop eating beef you will get mad cow and die. Normal tea is good for you today and only the back and green and Godaloneknowswhat colour is good for you tomorrow. What are we? Stupid?
Me - I have decided that I will eat, drink and pray - all in moderation. I meant play in moderation. Pray I will in excess - have to with the state of the nation. Anyway all of you health hungama people keep your studies to yourselves. Everyone's gotta eat. A lot of us have gotta drink and I know if we all play we will be fine. Chai is chai only if its got milk in it. Otherwise its coloured water.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Everyone wants to do a Steve Jobs
Steve is dead and for the last week we have been reading, seeing, hearing and listening to tributes made to a man who no doubt deserved all the kudos he got. People have been sending me links and videos and speeches and asides that he has made over the last 30 years but frankly my dear - I don't give a damn.
His words have been interesting, shocking, thought provoking, inspirational, insulting, encouraging, stark and even factual - in the world according to Steve. But from what I see going on around me his commencement speech at Stanford's 2005 graduation ceremony seems to have had the most impact on people all over the world.
Everyone wants to stop living someone else' dream and start living their own. Everyone now wants to follow their heart; drown out the opinion of others and the voice of society. Basically everyone wants to do a Steve Jobs.
Now a doubting Thomas you may be but it is true. In the 3 days after Steve's death while the world was being bombarded with Steve trivia I had more than 50 people walk into my office telling me they want to quit and follow their dream - a la Steve Jobs. My sessions would normally go like this.
"Ma'am, I want to quit my job."
"What? Why?" ( me thinking he wants more money and less responsibility which is normally the case)
"Steve Jobs died"
"What? So? I mean, so why do you want to quit?" ( me trying not to sound so callous )
"Before he died, he said follow your dreams and stop living someone else".
" Ok. Whats your dream?" ( me adopting 'the questions will reveal the answers' theory)
" My dream is to go to Goa and open a bar like Tito's, hook up with Masala Mike and live as if this were the last day of my life - like what Steve Jobs said"
"Don't be foolish. You will not have money to feed yourself." ( me getting down to basics in the face of idiocy.)
"That is what he said Ma'am. He said Stay foolish and be hungry."
"---------------" ( me lost for words )
So 50 variations of the same conversation over 3 days and I figured this is why we are a headless race, robbing Peter to feed Paul, trying to colonize space and save the earth when its us that needs the saving.
We have this amazing ability to select what we want to hear, see and believe - completely out of context and then with a faith that could move mountains act upon this belief thereby changing the course of our lives completely and then blaming everyone else - from the deceased Steve to the immortalized Elvis to the still with us Dr Singh, for things that go wrong.
Me? I am all for change and doing your own thing.
Quit and go do charity.
Quit and go play the guitar.
Quit and start your own catering company.
Quit and be a mechanic despite having an IQ off the charts.
Quit and follow your heart.
It just seems like everyone wants to go to heaven - but no one wants to die.
Everyone wants to DO a Steve Jobs - no one wants to BE the man.
This ones for the apple man. RIP
His words have been interesting, shocking, thought provoking, inspirational, insulting, encouraging, stark and even factual - in the world according to Steve. But from what I see going on around me his commencement speech at Stanford's 2005 graduation ceremony seems to have had the most impact on people all over the world.
Everyone wants to stop living someone else' dream and start living their own. Everyone now wants to follow their heart; drown out the opinion of others and the voice of society. Basically everyone wants to do a Steve Jobs.
Now a doubting Thomas you may be but it is true. In the 3 days after Steve's death while the world was being bombarded with Steve trivia I had more than 50 people walk into my office telling me they want to quit and follow their dream - a la Steve Jobs. My sessions would normally go like this.
"Ma'am, I want to quit my job."
"What? Why?" ( me thinking he wants more money and less responsibility which is normally the case)
"Steve Jobs died"
"What? So? I mean, so why do you want to quit?" ( me trying not to sound so callous )
"Before he died, he said follow your dreams and stop living someone else".
" Ok. Whats your dream?" ( me adopting 'the questions will reveal the answers' theory)
" My dream is to go to Goa and open a bar like Tito's, hook up with Masala Mike and live as if this were the last day of my life - like what Steve Jobs said"
"Don't be foolish. You will not have money to feed yourself." ( me getting down to basics in the face of idiocy.)
"That is what he said Ma'am. He said Stay foolish and be hungry."
"---------------" ( me lost for words )
So 50 variations of the same conversation over 3 days and I figured this is why we are a headless race, robbing Peter to feed Paul, trying to colonize space and save the earth when its us that needs the saving.
We have this amazing ability to select what we want to hear, see and believe - completely out of context and then with a faith that could move mountains act upon this belief thereby changing the course of our lives completely and then blaming everyone else - from the deceased Steve to the immortalized Elvis to the still with us Dr Singh, for things that go wrong.
Me? I am all for change and doing your own thing.
Quit and go do charity.
Quit and go play the guitar.
Quit and start your own catering company.
Quit and be a mechanic despite having an IQ off the charts.
Quit and follow your heart.
It just seems like everyone wants to go to heaven - but no one wants to die.
Everyone wants to DO a Steve Jobs - no one wants to BE the man.
This ones for the apple man. RIP
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
India's most undesirable
Simi selects India's most desirable. But who selected Simi? Was it Jimmy? Or Timmy? Or maybe Vimmy. It could have been any one of these 4 legged friends of man. Maybe they had a sniff the winner competition and her perfume or lack of it got her the gig. Could not have been man himself for man possesses a brain. Or does he?
One has to only look at her in all her botoxed glory and puff sleeves and wonder - who let the vamp out? Now many may call me shallow. After all beauty is only skin deep yadi yadi ya. It is actually. Whoever waxed eloquent about a good lookin liver? Anyway, I am willing to look beyond the externals hard as it is with all the feathers and mascara and talons...and see the lady.. ahem.. woman.. uhh.. female.. hmmm.. auntie (thats the right word) for what she claims to be.
Now talk, everyone can. Show - most people want to. Host - it is a skill one could learn from the likes of Oprah and Parkinson. Simi is described as a talk show host and therein lies the joke.
She cannot talk unless she assumes her alter ego Kiki's persona at which time she proceeds to speak in a high pitched falsetto that can raise the dead. Kiki asks questions that would make Hugh Hefner awkward, more due to manner than content. After all the media has shown us that no content is taboo - it's the packaging that counts. And boy! is something wrong with this package or what?
Show - I have to admit, she tries. But there are no takers for what she wants to show.
Host - She is definitely not doing any hosting on TV. But wait! From what I hear she used to be a good host with many a dost which is why she still coasts leaving us lost.. ( have to say it mallu style)
The idea for the show, good. The guests fresh ( no pun intended KJo) and entertaining ( Go Gaga!). The host - India's most undesirable I must say.
I think its a ploy to make the guests look more desirable. Can you imagine having Mallika Sherawat hosting? Or Rakhi Sawant? Or Sonam Kapoor? Who would look at the poor guests and massage their fragile egos?
Me? I think the show should be scrapped. But I come from a minority community, I cant fast and I have trouble speaking the local language so no one's going to listen to me. In which case, name the show for what it is.
India's most 'Undesirable' selects India's 'Most Desirable'
One has to only look at her in all her botoxed glory and puff sleeves and wonder - who let the vamp out? Now many may call me shallow. After all beauty is only skin deep yadi yadi ya. It is actually. Whoever waxed eloquent about a good lookin liver? Anyway, I am willing to look beyond the externals hard as it is with all the feathers and mascara and talons...and see the lady.. ahem.. woman.. uhh.. female.. hmmm.. auntie (thats the right word) for what she claims to be.
Now talk, everyone can. Show - most people want to. Host - it is a skill one could learn from the likes of Oprah and Parkinson. Simi is described as a talk show host and therein lies the joke.
She cannot talk unless she assumes her alter ego Kiki's persona at which time she proceeds to speak in a high pitched falsetto that can raise the dead. Kiki asks questions that would make Hugh Hefner awkward, more due to manner than content. After all the media has shown us that no content is taboo - it's the packaging that counts. And boy! is something wrong with this package or what?
Show - I have to admit, she tries. But there are no takers for what she wants to show.
Host - She is definitely not doing any hosting on TV. But wait! From what I hear she used to be a good host with many a dost which is why she still coasts leaving us lost.. ( have to say it mallu style)
The idea for the show, good. The guests fresh ( no pun intended KJo) and entertaining ( Go Gaga!). The host - India's most undesirable I must say.
I think its a ploy to make the guests look more desirable. Can you imagine having Mallika Sherawat hosting? Or Rakhi Sawant? Or Sonam Kapoor? Who would look at the poor guests and massage their fragile egos?
Me? I think the show should be scrapped. But I come from a minority community, I cant fast and I have trouble speaking the local language so no one's going to listen to me. In which case, name the show for what it is.
India's most 'Undesirable' selects India's 'Most Desirable'
Monday, September 5, 2011
Manic Monsoon In Mabi
Go to Mahableshwar they said. Its lovely in the monsoons. All the honeymoon couples go there. That should have stopped me – but it didn’t. Not having had a honeymoon myself I had dreams of walking with my husband under a canopy of trees in all their verdant splendor. I had visions of little droplets of water on my children’s eyelashes glinting like little diamonds in the watery sunshine. I had secret plans of snuggling under a warm blanket when the fog rolled in at early morn. In my mind’s eye I saw us enjoying waffles while drawing smiley faces on the window glass of a little bistro.
Boy! I was in for a rude shock. The Gods decided to entice us with a dry and sunny journey to this hill station, famed for its strawberries and everything Mapro. Uneventful journey to Mabi and me bragging all the way about how beautiful the scenery was and how the rains let up so we could have a nice 2 day break. Into Panchgani and while sipping coffee at a road side stall we experienced a little drizzle. Still upbeat I walked into the famed Roach’s bakery to buy some otherwise taboo baked goods. Was ‘not greeted’ by the owner; roach by name, roach by appearance. I understood – the claim to fame being his ability to be as ‘customer friendly’ as our very own local Iranian bakeries on East Street and MG road. I should have taken that as an omen of things to come – dark and cloudy. For the entire 5 minutes that I stood in his shop not a word was uttered. Unnerved I left without buying a single thing – wondering if he was silently reproaching me for venturing to buy things I had no business eating – but I digress. So onward we pushed towards Sherwood Mahableshwar with a song in our hearts and a swig from our hip flask.
The road to Mahableshwar was as slippery as a uniform waiting at a no entry sign. Positive people that we are – in hindsight foolhardy, we believed the rain would stop. The rain did not stop but we were stopped by the numerous people littering the road asking us for any and every tax known to Homo sapiens. Pay up we did not knowing which tax was legit and which was not. Of course I drew the line when they stopped us and asked for a tax for using our wipers!!!!( ok you get the idea) Anyway, we reached our destination and were warmly ensconced in our room – until the roof started leaking. 2 complaints later we were warmly ensconced in another room - sans phone. sans TV, sans view, sans hot water, sans our sanity! Wait a minute – was this not supposed to be holiday? So a dozen complaints later – we had a phone – line dead, hot water – wait for it..wait for it…wait for it.. “ok ma’am we will send you 2 buckets” and a TV – no English channels (we were informed that the ‘loyal to our horse riding hero’ people had put the kibosh on airing any programme in the Queen’s language )
Fast forward to 2 days later – 2 days of staying in our room – watching the weather go from drizzle to rain to heavy rain to thunder storm to someone up there emptying buckets of water on us mere mortals – and I was ready to build an ark! The thing I could not understand was that during the entire 2 days that we were there – physically at least cos mentally we were in sunny bloody wherever it was sunny, people kept coming and coming and the resort was full! Are people nuts or is it that we are from Mars? Enough was enough. Checked out in the morning ready to flee this dismal, wet, money grabbing hill station. 20 minutes out and we were told that the road between Mabi and Panchgani was closed due to water flooding. I have to say I thought I was in some horror movie where the place does not let you leave. (yes, yes. I do have a wild imagination and you would too if you were told “ vapas jao – rasta bund hai!”)
Vapas?? No way. My very own Indie and myself decided to gather our wits about us and find another way out of this wash out of a holiday. So through the mountains we went, intrepid adventurers, following a convoy of cars none of who really knew where we they headed just that they needed to get out. Perseverance always pays and after 60 minutes of driving in ways that would have us on Top Gear we found ourselves in Panchgani. Crying tears of joy we were on our way home. Slowly but steadily we wound our way down the Y and into the more familiar plains. 4 hours later we reached home. Tired but dry. Shaken but wiser. Still bewildered at why people go to Mahableshwar in the monsoons.
Me? Been there. Done that. Never again.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
The Movement that is Anna
Truth be told, I am a skeptic and having lived in our 'Mahaan Bharat' for 30 odd years I have ample reason to be. From fraud yogis to corrupt MDs we the people of India have lived through it all. Or have we?
After countless scams and numerous cheating and lying ministers, along comes a man born of humble beginnings to an unskilled laborer and his wife, in Ahmednagar. Along comes a man who has not studied beyond std 8 and has no fancy call center accent. Along comes a man who served in the Indian army as a driver and who retired voluntarily with nary a star on his shoulder. Along comes a man who began by steering the people of his village towards water conservation. Along comes a man who returned the Padmashree award to the President of India. Along comes a man who believes that development is marred by corruption. Along comes Anna.
And my skepticism wavers.
For the more affluent, educated, dare I say snobs of India who drive their SX4s ( bought on loan mind you) and send their kids to the newest latest IB school ( whats wrong with our regular schools that produced the likes of Abdul Kalam and Ratan Tata) who eat at 'Icannotpronouncethenameitssoexotic' restaurants - Anna is a mystery. I cannot count the number of times over the last 2 months that I have overheard these shiny happy uniformly uninformed people, lament the disruption of life and times that 'movement Anna' has caused.
And from what we read in the papers and see on the news, the government feels the same although for vastly different reasons. But if one looks closely at the reactions of people who do not support 'cause Anna' one will see that it is either because they are at the giving end or at the receiving end. Or they are skeptics - like me.
The questions are many.
Do we agree with all of the Lokpal bill?
Why are the dalits not supporting the bill?
Why are some 'learned' and 'educated' people reserved in their support of Anna?
Why is he fasting?
Are political parties supporting him only as a show for public support?
Does he stand for everything I believe in?
By supporting him, will I be aligning myself with certain political factions that I do not like?
Me, I do not have the answers. Anna's fast against corruption has raised more questions than ever before. Questions I must ask myself.
One thing I know for certain - I support the fight against corruption. If Anna is leading it today - then I support Anna.
And I say to you - Do not condemn his manner. Commend his courage.
After countless scams and numerous cheating and lying ministers, along comes a man born of humble beginnings to an unskilled laborer and his wife, in Ahmednagar. Along comes a man who has not studied beyond std 8 and has no fancy call center accent. Along comes a man who served in the Indian army as a driver and who retired voluntarily with nary a star on his shoulder. Along comes a man who began by steering the people of his village towards water conservation. Along comes a man who returned the Padmashree award to the President of India. Along comes a man who believes that development is marred by corruption. Along comes Anna.
And my skepticism wavers.
For the more affluent, educated, dare I say snobs of India who drive their SX4s ( bought on loan mind you) and send their kids to the newest latest IB school ( whats wrong with our regular schools that produced the likes of Abdul Kalam and Ratan Tata) who eat at 'Icannotpronouncethenameitssoexotic' restaurants - Anna is a mystery. I cannot count the number of times over the last 2 months that I have overheard these shiny happy uniformly uninformed people, lament the disruption of life and times that 'movement Anna' has caused.
And from what we read in the papers and see on the news, the government feels the same although for vastly different reasons. But if one looks closely at the reactions of people who do not support 'cause Anna' one will see that it is either because they are at the giving end or at the receiving end. Or they are skeptics - like me.
The questions are many.
Do we agree with all of the Lokpal bill?
Why are the dalits not supporting the bill?
Why are some 'learned' and 'educated' people reserved in their support of Anna?
Why is he fasting?
Are political parties supporting him only as a show for public support?
Does he stand for everything I believe in?
By supporting him, will I be aligning myself with certain political factions that I do not like?
Me, I do not have the answers. Anna's fast against corruption has raised more questions than ever before. Questions I must ask myself.
One thing I know for certain - I support the fight against corruption. If Anna is leading it today - then I support Anna.
And I say to you - Do not condemn his manner. Commend his courage.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Horn Ok Please
I love the French. Everything about them reeks(no pun intended) of culture and class. Their food with the pate and baguette, their clothes with the robe and the chemise, their language with the o la la! and Mon Dieu, their names with the Pierre and Philippe! Everything sounds so much more sophisticated in French.
And not to forget their quaint quotes for every and all situations - mostly Indian.
So when my French amie remarked over coffee the other day,"o my Gud! Pune his so orny place." I have to say I was tres tickled. With Pune being nominated as the most 'active' city in the east I thought wow! Up to date with the news and vocal about it! Hmmm. I ventured to clarify what exactly she meant. Much to my relief she was referring to the noise pollution in Pune generated by our horn loving public. "oh!!!!!!!!", I said. "Comme ca."
And just like that, here I am blogging about the excessive use of horns in Pune. There is a horn for every emotion and verb in the English dictionary and some for words that do not exist in any dick-tionary. People in Pune use their horns more than they do their rear view mirrors and almost as much as they use their clutch. I have endeavoured in this blog to identify the reasons why people honk. If I have missed out any please do feel free to add..
Lets start with the most common.
move - Honk
move I say - Honk honk !
arre move na... honk!
not moving!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK
$%^& move move move - Honk Honk Honk!!!
deaf MCBC! ( while moving past him from the left) Honk!
Then there is the classist honking my soon-going-to-be-related-to-me Parsi friend subscribes to.
$%^ driving a VW? - Honk!
Cheapo cant afford a Mercedes - Honk Honk!
Oh God a BMW! - MC Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonk!
I will race you with my hero honda - hnk!
Ofcourse the 'I am high and happy' honking which happens after 9 pm.
High - Honk!
High and happy - Honky Honky!
High and gay - Honky honk!!
Just acting High - HOOOONK!
Drunk - Hoonk Hoonk Hoonkyyyy!
The most annoying one however, is the 'I need attention' honkers.
Here I come - Honk
Just behind you - Honk!
Still behind you - Honk
Loving the back view - Honk Honk!
Coming up to you now - Honk Honk!
Celebrating independent India - Hooooooooooooooooooooooooonk!
Feel like making noise - Honk Honk Honk!
No cop in sight? - Honk Honk!
Tailing you - Honk!
Racing you - Honk Honk!
Last but not least are the rickshaw hater honkers. And I must admit I am one of them. If I see a rickshaw in my way ( or even out of my way) I honk. I bloody honk till the bugger moves almost onto the footpath - wait! there aren't any in Pune. Ok so you get the picture. Rickshaw hater honkers I think are born from their deep rooted disgust of rickshaw drivers who will rob you of your handkerchief if they could. The Puneites hate them, the expats suffer them, the cops... well, are almost as bad as them and all in all - they deserve to be honked to hell!
So, to wrap up this honk of a blog, Pune has got to be the honkiest city this part of the world. I would fast for a noise pollution tax but that would take the focus away from Anna's current fast which I must admit deals with more 'current(cy)' issues.
And not to forget their quaint quotes for every and all situations - mostly Indian.
So when my French amie remarked over coffee the other day,"o my Gud! Pune his so orny place." I have to say I was tres tickled. With Pune being nominated as the most 'active' city in the east I thought wow! Up to date with the news and vocal about it! Hmmm. I ventured to clarify what exactly she meant. Much to my relief she was referring to the noise pollution in Pune generated by our horn loving public. "oh!!!!!!!!", I said. "Comme ca."
And just like that, here I am blogging about the excessive use of horns in Pune. There is a horn for every emotion and verb in the English dictionary and some for words that do not exist in any dick-tionary. People in Pune use their horns more than they do their rear view mirrors and almost as much as they use their clutch. I have endeavoured in this blog to identify the reasons why people honk. If I have missed out any please do feel free to add..
Lets start with the most common.
move - Honk
move I say - Honk honk !
arre move na... honk!
not moving!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK
$%^& move move move - Honk Honk Honk!!!
deaf MCBC! ( while moving past him from the left) Honk!
Then there is the classist honking my soon-going-to-be-related-to-me Parsi friend subscribes to.
$%^ driving a VW? - Honk!
Cheapo cant afford a Mercedes - Honk Honk!
Oh God a BMW! - MC Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonk!
I will race you with my hero honda - hnk!
Ofcourse the 'I am high and happy' honking which happens after 9 pm.
High - Honk!
High and happy - Honky Honky!
High and gay - Honky honk!!
Just acting High - HOOOONK!
Drunk - Hoonk Hoonk Hoonkyyyy!
The most annoying one however, is the 'I need attention' honkers.
Here I come - Honk
Just behind you - Honk!
Still behind you - Honk
Loving the back view - Honk Honk!
Coming up to you now - Honk Honk!
Celebrating independent India - Hooooooooooooooooooooooooonk!
Feel like making noise - Honk Honk Honk!
No cop in sight? - Honk Honk!
Tailing you - Honk!
Racing you - Honk Honk!
Last but not least are the rickshaw hater honkers. And I must admit I am one of them. If I see a rickshaw in my way ( or even out of my way) I honk. I bloody honk till the bugger moves almost onto the footpath - wait! there aren't any in Pune. Ok so you get the picture. Rickshaw hater honkers I think are born from their deep rooted disgust of rickshaw drivers who will rob you of your handkerchief if they could. The Puneites hate them, the expats suffer them, the cops... well, are almost as bad as them and all in all - they deserve to be honked to hell!
So, to wrap up this honk of a blog, Pune has got to be the honkiest city this part of the world. I would fast for a noise pollution tax but that would take the focus away from Anna's current fast which I must admit deals with more 'current(cy)' issues.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Petrol Pump Lechers
I am willing to bet my last indian rupee that there is not a single Indian woman....nay... make that a single woman in India who has not been leched at, at a petrol pump in India. I just stopped at a pump near my house in Pune, Wanowrie and asked the guy to fill 500 bucks worth gas. Was with 5 kids in the car ( not all mine mind you ) looked ragged after taking eleven 9 year old girls to watch Smurfs and I had my thick glasses on ( poor eyesight - hereditary not age ). This guy took my money and proceeded to gun the gas into the tank while all the while staring at the general area between my neck and navel. Now some of you may say I should have sat in the car - why ask for trouble right? But these effers from who knows effeing where will cheat you on the gas if you don't step out and check the zero and check that they are not fingering the petrol gun. I think a pre-requisite for employment at a petrol station in India has got to be funky frikking fingers - they all have them!!!
Anyway, the icing on the cake was that he was doing it blatantly! Now for those of you who know me and for those of you who know me through my blog, I wasn' taking this standing up. I snapped my fingers at him and asked him if there was something the matter. He looked up at me blankly and for a moment there he had that 'beam me up scotty' look. Only there was no scotty and I was so not-e going to let this shorty get away with his sortie. I walked up to him and told him to stop filling petrol and give my money back. Stunned - he just did not move. By which time he had filled in the amount of petrol 500 INR will buy ( those of you living in this land of the not so brave and definitely not free would know its not much at all )
Me, I refused to pay. The way 'I looked' at it was that 'he looked' and boy was he going to pay. So long story short - they stopped me. I lost my cool, they hit him on his head and I eventually paid and drove off.
The thing is that I made my point ( or two ) and the guy will now be careful in future. And to all you guys who are thinking ummm what was she wearing - you deserve a slut slap ( in support of the slut walks happening all over the world) and for all you girls - next time you stop to fill petrol get out of the car and dare the guy to stare. Then you know what to do.
May the force be with you!
Anyway, the icing on the cake was that he was doing it blatantly! Now for those of you who know me and for those of you who know me through my blog, I wasn' taking this standing up. I snapped my fingers at him and asked him if there was something the matter. He looked up at me blankly and for a moment there he had that 'beam me up scotty' look. Only there was no scotty and I was so not-e going to let this shorty get away with his sortie. I walked up to him and told him to stop filling petrol and give my money back. Stunned - he just did not move. By which time he had filled in the amount of petrol 500 INR will buy ( those of you living in this land of the not so brave and definitely not free would know its not much at all )
Me, I refused to pay. The way 'I looked' at it was that 'he looked' and boy was he going to pay. So long story short - they stopped me. I lost my cool, they hit him on his head and I eventually paid and drove off.
The thing is that I made my point ( or two ) and the guy will now be careful in future. And to all you guys who are thinking ummm what was she wearing - you deserve a slut slap ( in support of the slut walks happening all over the world) and for all you girls - next time you stop to fill petrol get out of the car and dare the guy to stare. Then you know what to do.
May the force be with you!
Friday, August 5, 2011
The wonder that is Master chef Australia
I have oft wondered why Master chef Australia is so huge in India.
For one, its made by Australians the entire population of which is smaller than that of Bombay. Its made by and features people from a country who are sore losers - sporty nation mind you, but sore losers never the less ( ask the D gang and by D, I mean Dhoni ) It's a section of society representing people who we know can sledge and boy can they sledge. Additionally, they have some crazy custom and duty prohibitions and Indians are treated like suspects from the time they walk in the airport ( sniffer dogs et al ). Now I must admit that this is all hearsay mate but I hear what they say and what they say ain't always pretty.
So why then, pray tell, do we love Master chef Australia?
Is it because Gary and George are so warm and generous? Or because of the celebrity chefs that come on and the eccentricities of the likes of Adriano Zumba? Or maybe its the sets and the exotic locales - Cockatoo islands! Now thats a place I'd love to cockatoo at. Or maybe its the Aussie accent mate! Or the niceness of the contestants - no apprentice type "he stole my ideas &^#$%^&* " or "you can't cook! you're fired!!!"
Here the contestants are gracious and genuine. And when Gary tells them that its their turn to go home if their dish is not up to the mark, they don't threaten his family and vow to avenge their expulsion from the masterchef kitchen. They don't sob on camera and claim partiality or favoritism and come to think of it no one has accused Matt Preston of sleeping with any of the contestants...yet!
Could it be that India, a nation known for her warmth and generosity needs a prime time dose of it herself? Could it be that Indians tune into Master chef to be a part of a one hour happy, friendly and sometimes genuinely funny experience. Now I know a lot of you reading this would probably say its also for the lovely recipes but I say to you, " anything they cook on master chef can be seen in a variety of combination permutations by a variety of other chefs ranging from the oh so gay Ainsley to the rude and ruthless Gordon Ramsay to the "I stay plump so I look young" Nigella to the 'not naked' Naked chef.
But Gary, George and the pretty in pink Matt rule the roost.
Me, I believe its got to do with a formula that makes this show about the food and the people wanting to cook it. Its not about the judges or any celebrity host - wait! there isn't one, or about the life and times of George and how he came over from Greece. It has stayed true to it's objective of picking regular chefs/cooks from all over Australia and giving them a shot at being master chefs. Its done well, cleanly, nicely and with much grace and kindness.
And in the India of today, thats what we are lacking. The over dose of reality TV and the likes of Jerry Springer that have filled our homes and lives have left us wanting to tune into a genuine, clean and truly entertaining program - the wonder that is Master chef Australia.
For one, its made by Australians the entire population of which is smaller than that of Bombay. Its made by and features people from a country who are sore losers - sporty nation mind you, but sore losers never the less ( ask the D gang and by D, I mean Dhoni ) It's a section of society representing people who we know can sledge and boy can they sledge. Additionally, they have some crazy custom and duty prohibitions and Indians are treated like suspects from the time they walk in the airport ( sniffer dogs et al ). Now I must admit that this is all hearsay mate but I hear what they say and what they say ain't always pretty.
So why then, pray tell, do we love Master chef Australia?
Is it because Gary and George are so warm and generous? Or because of the celebrity chefs that come on and the eccentricities of the likes of Adriano Zumba? Or maybe its the sets and the exotic locales - Cockatoo islands! Now thats a place I'd love to cockatoo at. Or maybe its the Aussie accent mate! Or the niceness of the contestants - no apprentice type "he stole my ideas &^#$%^&* " or "you can't cook! you're fired!!!"
Here the contestants are gracious and genuine. And when Gary tells them that its their turn to go home if their dish is not up to the mark, they don't threaten his family and vow to avenge their expulsion from the masterchef kitchen. They don't sob on camera and claim partiality or favoritism and come to think of it no one has accused Matt Preston of sleeping with any of the contestants...yet!
Could it be that India, a nation known for her warmth and generosity needs a prime time dose of it herself? Could it be that Indians tune into Master chef to be a part of a one hour happy, friendly and sometimes genuinely funny experience. Now I know a lot of you reading this would probably say its also for the lovely recipes but I say to you, " anything they cook on master chef can be seen in a variety of combination permutations by a variety of other chefs ranging from the oh so gay Ainsley to the rude and ruthless Gordon Ramsay to the "I stay plump so I look young" Nigella to the 'not naked' Naked chef.
But Gary, George and the pretty in pink Matt rule the roost.
Me, I believe its got to do with a formula that makes this show about the food and the people wanting to cook it. Its not about the judges or any celebrity host - wait! there isn't one, or about the life and times of George and how he came over from Greece. It has stayed true to it's objective of picking regular chefs/cooks from all over Australia and giving them a shot at being master chefs. Its done well, cleanly, nicely and with much grace and kindness.
And in the India of today, thats what we are lacking. The over dose of reality TV and the likes of Jerry Springer that have filled our homes and lives have left us wanting to tune into a genuine, clean and truly entertaining program - the wonder that is Master chef Australia.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Monica for a sister!
How many of you have watched friends and said, "Oh My God! My husband is Chandler ( which he is but I'll save that for another blog) or my ex boyfriend is a Ross - or worse still my neighbor is naked man!!? "
Well my sister is Monica. For the last 5 years I have had the sneaky suspicion that she was but it got confirmed this morning when she asked me what I had planned for my daughter's birthday. Now some of you regular guys must think that my daughter's birthday is this weekend. No its not. Next weekend perhaps? No its not. Try the following weekend! So being the elder sister I told her to buzz off, I hadn't even planned what I was gonna have for breakfast today!
Did she buzz off? Nope. She gave me a lecture on how planning is crucial to success and how excel was invented for a reason and how everything can be put in columns and the virtues of buying a BB so I can organize my life and how I need to get the place all ready and spruced up before the birthday ( I only do this deep cleaning sort of thing at Christmas). Truth be told, she lost me at excel....
But at my desk this afternoon, post an extremely unsatisfying lunch, I thought to myself what if she is right? What if I am a failed planner? I wondered, was my lack of planning the reason I met and married my B2 ( brainy and brawny) husband within a year? Was my lack of planning the reason I had 2 kids within 2 years? Was my lack of organization responsible for my eclectic and often borrowed ( by her )wardrobe? Was my inability to stick to a plan the reason I went to Dubai at 20 and came back to India at 28? Was my utter disgust for writing things down the reason I have a great memory and a superior ability to multi task? Was my irreverence for authority and disregard for structure the reason why I now work in the animation industry where barefooted people walk into a multi million dollar studio and my hats and sunglasses are just regular?
If it is, then happy am I. But Kudos to all the 'Monicas' out there! Whatever jingles your bell.
Me, I am a 'fly by the seat of my pants' girl. And for all the organization in my life - I have my beloved sister with whom I am well pleased!
Well my sister is Monica. For the last 5 years I have had the sneaky suspicion that she was but it got confirmed this morning when she asked me what I had planned for my daughter's birthday. Now some of you regular guys must think that my daughter's birthday is this weekend. No its not. Next weekend perhaps? No its not. Try the following weekend! So being the elder sister I told her to buzz off, I hadn't even planned what I was gonna have for breakfast today!
Did she buzz off? Nope. She gave me a lecture on how planning is crucial to success and how excel was invented for a reason and how everything can be put in columns and the virtues of buying a BB so I can organize my life and how I need to get the place all ready and spruced up before the birthday ( I only do this deep cleaning sort of thing at Christmas). Truth be told, she lost me at excel....
But at my desk this afternoon, post an extremely unsatisfying lunch, I thought to myself what if she is right? What if I am a failed planner? I wondered, was my lack of planning the reason I met and married my B2 ( brainy and brawny) husband within a year? Was my lack of planning the reason I had 2 kids within 2 years? Was my lack of organization responsible for my eclectic and often borrowed ( by her )wardrobe? Was my inability to stick to a plan the reason I went to Dubai at 20 and came back to India at 28? Was my utter disgust for writing things down the reason I have a great memory and a superior ability to multi task? Was my irreverence for authority and disregard for structure the reason why I now work in the animation industry where barefooted people walk into a multi million dollar studio and my hats and sunglasses are just regular?
If it is, then happy am I. But Kudos to all the 'Monicas' out there! Whatever jingles your bell.
Me, I am a 'fly by the seat of my pants' girl. And for all the organization in my life - I have my beloved sister with whom I am well pleased!
Monday, July 25, 2011
Hey teachers leave those kids alone
why are schools teaching our children stuff they will never use? Are dates in History so important? Battle of Panipat? Uprising? Shivaji's birth - I mean who give a FF? The biggest lake in Kashmir is blah blah and the festivals of Baisakhi is celebrated on ... STOP! Teachers - leave those kids alone.
have any of the above ever helped anyone make a career decision? Except for Ross maybe! What are we doing to our kids minds? Whatever happened to school is a place to learn social skills and to make friends and by the by to learn math and how the earth works and that History is a one sided account of how the winners whipped the losers arses?
I say we need to make some decisions for our kids. We may be few and far between but I think we owe it to them.
I made one yesterday. When teaching Abigail geography - I shut the book on Kashmir and its geographical features and festivals, and showed her the globe instead and we figured out where Russia is, which places are in Europe and that India is actually bigger than Australia!!
Marks? Marks are for parents who need to benchmark their kids progress. Not me. How about you??
have any of the above ever helped anyone make a career decision? Except for Ross maybe! What are we doing to our kids minds? Whatever happened to school is a place to learn social skills and to make friends and by the by to learn math and how the earth works and that History is a one sided account of how the winners whipped the losers arses?
I say we need to make some decisions for our kids. We may be few and far between but I think we owe it to them.
I made one yesterday. When teaching Abigail geography - I shut the book on Kashmir and its geographical features and festivals, and showed her the globe instead and we figured out where Russia is, which places are in Europe and that India is actually bigger than Australia!!
Marks? Marks are for parents who need to benchmark their kids progress. Not me. How about you??
Thursday, June 2, 2011
weather woes
Its the end of summer. Atleast calendar wise. But those were the old days when life was simpler and blackberry was actually a fruit -exotic for those of us who live in India... when we could say ah! 1st of June and here comes the rain. Not any more me hearties - we must now rely on our keen sense of smell, our intuition, our appeasing of the rain Gods and ofcourse the met department.
The met department are the smart ones. Accurate in a way even the most die hard rain watcher predicter cannot be. Everytime they say sunny with a chance of rain - be sure to wear your gum boots and whip out the ol' brolly cos its gonna be rainy with a chance of sun. If they say cloudy and no rain - fear not my intrepid puneites - its gonna be sun all the way with a scattering of clouds - makes for a pretty picture. This way if you ask them to explain they have got it kinda right - some clouds ..some rain...some sun. Its all there!! Kinda.
But the question is - who asked them? Why do they feel like they have to say something to the papers? Just keep mum and let the drops fall where they might. Must you predict? Just leave us to our guessing and we will be fine. We will navigate the unreliable weather as well as we navigate the changing landscape of Pune..
So guys - what do you think? Hazard a guess for the real onset of the monsoons. 5th June is what I say - and met be damned.
The met department are the smart ones. Accurate in a way even the most die hard rain watcher predicter cannot be. Everytime they say sunny with a chance of rain - be sure to wear your gum boots and whip out the ol' brolly cos its gonna be rainy with a chance of sun. If they say cloudy and no rain - fear not my intrepid puneites - its gonna be sun all the way with a scattering of clouds - makes for a pretty picture. This way if you ask them to explain they have got it kinda right - some clouds ..some rain...some sun. Its all there!! Kinda.
But the question is - who asked them? Why do they feel like they have to say something to the papers? Just keep mum and let the drops fall where they might. Must you predict? Just leave us to our guessing and we will be fine. We will navigate the unreliable weather as well as we navigate the changing landscape of Pune..
So guys - what do you think? Hazard a guess for the real onset of the monsoons. 5th June is what I say - and met be damned.
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