Realitea

I love my morning paper. The fresh smell of newsprint, a crisp and windy Pune morning and my delicious morning tea while reading the latest in Hollywood gossip never fails to lift my spirits. Although I have to say that some mornings my spirits are already quite lifted from the excesses of the previous night but never mind.

This morning however when I opened the papers I chanced upon an article that drew and held my attention even before I got to reading the gossip column. The article said that tea with milk was bad for me! Surely the writer was joking or croaking and this was his way of paying back humanity for some imagined slight.

Not so. The writer was serious and went on to give some chemical reaction explanation that I must say sounded very convincing if you are the jargon impressed kind of person. Not me. I was mad. Hey! Gyan gurus! Leave us all alone. For centuries Indians have been drinking tea with milk - none of that green shit and have been healthy and happy. Now you come along and publish some paper after doing some cockamamie research funded by someone who has mucho moolah and you unleash this on the general public just as we are sitting down to enjoy our morning chai? Soon you will be telling us to leave the tea out and just drink the warm water!

The thing with this kind of unsolicited advice purportedly for the good of mankind is that there is no consistency. One day eat bread - the next day give it up!! Its bad carbs. One day eggs are the best - the next day you will die of cholesterol if you eat eggs. Today stop eating fish they are contaminated - the next day eat fish it has omega 3 oils. Today eat lean beef - its the best kind of meat. Tomorrow stop eating beef you will get mad cow and die. Normal tea is good for you today and only the back and green and Godaloneknowswhat colour is good for you tomorrow. What are we? Stupid?

Me - I have decided that I will eat, drink and pray - all in moderation. I meant play in moderation. Pray I will in excess - have to with the state of the nation. Anyway all of you health hungama people keep your studies to yourselves. Everyone's gotta eat. A lot of us have gotta drink and I know if we all play we will be fine. Chai is chai only if its got milk in it. Otherwise its coloured water.